a weekend away

i went to utila, one of the bay islands, this weekend for some much needed r&r with a couple other volunteers.

it´s hard to believe that it´s the same country as honduras.

we all felt as if we´d stumbled onto some lost world. beautiful calm water, amazing scenery, and a culture of people that don´t remind me of any culture i´ve seen or learned about.

ít´s like a bunch of crazy pirates landed there years ago and never left.... actually, i think that´s exactly what happened...

mostly british descendants, i think.... they speak a type of "english" that was more difficult for me to understand than spanish. we stopped into a store for water where they spoke spanish, and i was pleasantly suprised to understand what was going on.

it was carnival, for some reason, so there was a homemade style parade and partying into the night. i swam, kayaked, layed on the beach and did a whole lot of nothing... once i stopped feeling bad about it!

i´m back on the mainland now and back into being completely absorbed with thoughts on the kids and the organization and what i can do to be helpful, efficient, productive etc. three volunteers from the volunteer house are moving back home this week, and the remainder will be gone in about 2 weeks. one person will be moving in, so i wont be all by myself as i originally thought... and there will be 3 more moving in at the end of august.

lots of change!

this weekend will be spent planning my first week of dance class and puppetry class. i could use some energy vibes if anyone has any to spare. i was playing "what time is it mr. wolf" with the kinder this afternoon and could barely keep up with them. it´s probably my fault for suggesting we play outside where they have way more space to run away from me when i try to catch them.... i think i may have some sort of leftover parasite from guatemala that may be slowing me down... that´s it.... blame it on the parasites.... i´m going to need a full medical check up when i return to canada! ringworm, lice, parasites, bacteria.... lots of fun.

well, i´m signing out for now. i want to look up some guitar chords on line before i head back to the volunteer house.

thanks for everyone who has been reading and sending me emails and facebook notes. it really helps to know that i have people back home supporting me!

a better mood

sorry if i depressed anyone with my last blog. it´s been a frustrating experience here so far, but i woke up in a better mood today.
it´s difficult to find time to separate oneself from everything that is going on here, but last night i had my first tub of chocolate icecream since i left home. horray for icecream and emotional eating!

the kinder is still as misbehaved as ever - yesterday was good, today they were bad - but that´s the way it goes.
i had a great moment today with some of the older girls during a break from class - i was trying to translate "lean on me" into spanish, and they came up to me and helped me out. after we figured out the first verse and the chorus i got my guitar and sang it for them. i´m so glad i got that guitar. it gives me a way to communicate with the kids at the hogar when my spanish falls short.
and.... i´ve come up with an initial plan for some creative classes. i hope it works out.
i´m still waiting on taking more spanish lessons. it may have to wait until some more volunteers arrive to free up some of my time in the mornings.
we´ll see.

if anything this experience will hopefully teach me patience.
patience patience patience.
i´m on honduran time now.

a long week

it´s been a difficult week.
working with the kinder is more difficult than it sounds.
these kids need more than someone to play with. they have people to play with and to read to them etc.
i spent half the week giving kids "time out" or "tiempo solo". i´ve started to learn how to give soft lectures in spanish. i´m more a disciplinarian than a teacher. i don´t like that. there has been a lot of change in these kids lives, and they are resistant to so much.

what these kids need are full time social workers, a doctor and dentist who give the kids full medical attention, a kitchen and cleaning staff who know what it means to clean and disinfect, a full time person to oversee everything, and money so the place can continue to run.
on the surface, these kids seem fine, content, they have clothes, they get to go out to pizza hut, or to pools or to the beach a few times a week. they get attention.

looking closer you see that all of the kids have stomach issues, likely from the lack of cleanliness in the kitchen, there´s a six year old (my sponsor child) with a hernia, there is a family of girls from 5-10 years old who don´t understand how to kiss an adult with a closed mouth, and all the kids have lice to a certain extent, some have ringworm.
it seems like theatre and dance class is the last thing that they need.

the organization is made up of amazing, well meaning and hard working volunteers - but it´s a new organization and they seem to need so much that i don´t have to give them.
if the orphanage is forced to close, these kids will be sent to foster care (where they came from) which will be worse. at least they are in a place where they are loved and have some sort of structure...
i don´t know.
i hope i can contribute something.

the other thing that is so disheartening is the general apathy of hondurans towards the welfare of the children in their country. there are some who are amazing and care so much, but in general there is both a lack of knowledge and a lack of concern. i wonder how one can help a country that is not ready to help itself.

so here i am. in a place where it it isn´t 100% safe to walk alone in the day, and not safe to walk alone at night. where any sort of running water or electricity is a luxury. where walls are a luxury. where children have been neglected, abandoned, abused and orphaned....

yet, on the other side, seeing the kids sing "you are my sunshine" for a volunteer who left after a year, and having them give you hugs and say they wish you were their "madrina" (godmother) gets you through the day and makes you really want to give them something more.

where does one even begin??

sinking in

it´s the beginning of week two.
myself and some of the other volunteers went to an ecological reserve overnight on saturday. i got to paddle in a canoe and see brightly coloured birds, crocodiles (cocodrilos) and monkeys!! that was pretty cool. what wasn´t so cool was not having water (pepsi was readily available) and being told that there were bugs in our cabin that could kill you.... we realized after a few minutes that this is an expression.
i really need to work on my spanish.
the language barrier is a constant frustration for me, and i find it somewhat difficult to innitiate activities when i´m not able to think of the right words.
so - i´ve signed up for spanish classes. my first class was supposed to be today at 3pm, however, there was a fire at the spanish school on friday, so no class today... tomorrow? maybe.

i´m still trying to let everything around me sink in. i´m trying to let the fact that i´ll be here for 5 months sink in. i know they need me here, they need long term volunteers, but i´m not sure what my role will be here exactly. i´m trying not to get frustrated with the unknown.
as of right now i´m working with the kinder in the mornings. eventually i will be teaching creative classes in the afternoon. but these things require some organization and will probably not come into consistant play until things settle down around here (there are many volunteers leaving and arriving right now, so things are a bit chaotic).

i´m glad i brought my guitar. the kids seem to like it. they want to smack it and pull on the strings and turn the tuning knobs... but i figure that´s what i´d want to do with it too if i wasnt used to seeing a guitar...
i know we´re supposed to keep a level of discipline with the kids, but it´s hard when i know i´d be doing the exact same bad things if i was their age.... when they´re using elastic bands as sling shots i´m tempted to teach them how to make a more effective ¨gun¨with their hands - this, however, would be inappropriate.
today was a bit of a write off, as we had two new volunteers visiting the kinder in the morning, so of course it turned into a mad house once they had to leave....

ok. this is becoming a bit of a ramble!

i´ll just end with a quick note about donations:
the organization is run 100% on volunteers. they keep a few employees for maintanance, security and two live in caretakers of the children. they are very short on sponsors and have had to put a few things on hold because of it. also, just the basic food costs are not being met as the prices of food have gone up 30% in the past few months. so if you have anything to spare financially, go to the link on this blog for helping honduras kids and send something out. i ensure you it´s being put to great use!!

a quick blog

so. end of week one.
things to get used to:
a different level of cleanliness.
the possiblility of getting lice.
not being able to go anywhere alone.
speaking spanish to children.
washing my clothes on one of those old school scrubby things.
ants and flies.

children.
the children are amazing when you think of the places they´ve come from.
being a human jungle gym.

the mind is still racing. the photo´s are still taking a long time to upload.
i´ll try to post more, but i have a feeling the internet is going to become less and less of a priority.

there is so much to do and i´m not yet sure how.
i´ll figure it out.

i'm heeerrreeee!!!

i've finally arrived.
slept last night at the orphanage. met my sponsor child, santos. i've never gotten such a long hug from a child that didn't know me. he's told everyone i'm his madrina (godmother aka sponsor) and when he sees me i get random hugs/semi tackled (sp?).
i could barely sleep last night my mind was buzzing with so much. like being 7 years old on christmas eve after getting a glimpse of what's under the tree and being sent to bed.
today i went to the volunteer house, where i'll be living. just about had a heart attack with the way the volunteers there are living.... calmed down, went back to the hogar (orphanage) with the volunteer coordinator, brought back curtains and sheets, pulled a mary poppins-thirdworld style makeover to the house and now i feel a little better.
i still have a line of termites crawling up my wall... or i should say lines.... and cold water showers that sometimes don't work, and a stray dog sleeping at my doorstep...and my bed is a warped cot with two skinny mattresses... i'll survive though.

things to do: buy lysol and a sponge

that aside ... it's good to finally be here. i have lots to do. and my health seems to be back. and today i hitched a ride into town with 2 other volunteers in the back of a pickup.
this is my life for the next 5 months.
i'm here.

guatemala? i think i slept through it.

so. san pedro. beautiful san pedro on even more beautiful lago de atitlan.
breathtaking views of volcanos. opportunities to hike the volcano, go horseback riding, kayak, swim, take coffee tours... etc. etc.
a place where the women all wear the traditional mayan wear and people still wash their clothes and bathe in the lake, and women are able to carry just about anything on their head... well, that may be an exaggeration... not automobiles or large animals... but you get what i mean.
unfortunately the place is crawling with wannabe hippies and travel slacker stoner types, but that´s just a minor annoyance.

so do i get to enjoy my 8 nights here? the longest stretch in one place so far?
no. not so much.
day one was a bit of a shock to the system. went for dinner, met a 2 day friend, went out for a ´bit of a party´. felt like i was in the movie ¨the beach¨with leonardo dicaprio. unfortunately leo was not there.

day two was spanish lessons. starting to feel a little ill. begin to experience a common traveller problem in central america.
night of day two continuing into day three is in bed, major stomach cramps, high fever.... feeling like a 24hr flu. the bad kind.

day 4 i start to feel a bit human, muster enough energy to realize that my visa nor my bank card are able to withdraw cash. take a trip across the lake in a scarily over crowded boat (side note: this is a place where you fear for your safety on a semi regular basis... between chicken busses, ferry boats and bacteria in the food....) to try to find an alternate atm. email the family and transfer funds via email, so they can send it via western union.

day 5 feeling a bit better, still listless, go back to major (well, major ish) town to - yay!!- recieve money!! whoo hooo!! feeling elated as i take the death boat back across the stunningly beautiful lake. go to my spanish class for 4 hours. learn past tense. good day. still some stomach issues, will deal with it tomorrow.

day 6 wake up feeling like crap. fever the night before... again! grr. miss spanish b-c i´m not well, but go to the school at 6 pm to be escorted to see the dr. . as it turns out, i have a bacterial infection in my intestines. nice. and some sort of overall virus. (did i mention that at this point i have a nasty cold on top of it all?) the dr. gives me medicine for the virus, some ibuprofen, and 4 pills to kill the "amibas". "what are amibas?" ameobas. oh. fantastic. flashbacks to grade school science class and farside cartoons.
on the bright side, i was able to communicate with the dr. en español. points for me.

day 7 stomach is somewhat settled, the cold is still bad, and i have an overall feeling of slight nasuea and fatique. i only get through 2 hours of spanish. i´m taking my medicine. i learn a lesson to never take harsh medicine on an empty stomach. i throw up while waiting for my food at a bar (fortunately i made it to the bathroom). they give me my food to go. i learn from some barflys that the medicine i´m taking basically kills everything. everything. even my zest for life? my will to live? (kidding. i still have my will to live).

day 8 the cold is still in full swing, but the throat infection seems to have been avoided, just sinus now. and very tired. and slight nausea. but i put the medicine to blame for this. i manage almost 2 hours of spanish. i remember to eat 3 meals. what an effort.... i´m on the violently ill diet plan. ha.
i´m looking forward to leaving this place tomorrow. even though i didnt get to kayak, or climb the volcano, or really meet anyone, or... or... or...
but my past tense is getting better. and i´ve met some helpful locals.

in a few days i meet up with the volunteer coordinator in honduras and we get to drive... drive! to la cieba together and i will have a home at last.