more changes

so i started the week with some more engergy.
after a weekend at the jungle river lodge for some food drink, rest, hiking and swimming... i also sort of got offered a job there if i decide to stay in honduras for longer... very tempting. very very tempting.
we'll see.

we have 4 new volunteers this week. since i'm the old volunteer, i've been semi 'training' the newcomers at the 2 locations i'm working at. it's not been as draining as i thought it would be though as they are all quite pleasant to work with. i've learned that the people you work with make all the difference when dealing with the kids. when everyone is working together, even if the kids are horribly bad, at least you feel like a team. so, that being said, i'm rather happy with my new coworkers so far. unfortunately my one roommate and co-volunteer is leaving, but that's how it goes here. people come and go.

i've resumed the after school classes this week, and the monster puppets are starting to look very cute. i'm thinking of putting together a october halloween type performance with the kids if they are interested in participating.

today was pretty exhausting, as the kids at the campesino project decided to revolt - but overall things are getting a little easier as far as knowing what to do and knowing what to say... i think my spanish is getting better - although i don't want to speak too soon because tomorrow is a new day...
and as usual, i have no idea what it will bring.

tired.

i was able to upload new pics onto flickr - just check the link in the right hand column for 'photos'.

this week and last have been exhausting. doubling up on jobs has taken it's toll. i didn't do my afternoon classes this week b/c i've been a bit under the weather - hopefully a restful weekend will get me back on track.
good things though - i had different spanish teachers this week who actually have communication skills - yay! also, justin and i found this roadside lunch spot in jutiapa that is amazing.... basically a picnic table and they serve rice, beans, platanos and fried chicken. after walking the hot dusty road one hour in and one hour out from la bomba - it is much welcomed!

this monday there will be four new volunteers moving into the house - another big change. by the end of next week i should be only going out to the campiseno project and doing my afternoon classes. i may actually have enough energy to do pilates some mornings - we'll see.

i still wish i could do more while i'm here. there are all these little loose ends that i'd love to help tie up if i weren't so tired at the end of the day and at the end of the week.
one thing at a time.

i know i had more to blog about, but i'm starting to do the glassy stare that i do around this time of day.
i think i may need to stop writing and go get icecream.

good idea.

the longest week ever.

the kinder has been good and bad as usual.
the solares nuevos is a big challenge with only two people - but i love the kids there.
the spanish classes i'm taking are disappointing as the teacher has poor communication and teaching skills. i've told myself i have to stick it out though.
the last class we had she spent an hour having us read about poverty in honduras - pointing all the starving children without parents over and over again. 'mira' she'd say (look) 'mira a los ninos'.
it was so ridiculous.
she knows why we're here.
we don't need to look at the photos. we're face to face with them.
it hit a point where i thought i was going to cry but then it struck me as ridiculously and inappropriately funny.
i avoided eye contact with justin b/c i figured i'd crack up.
like laughing at a funeral.

laughter is really what keeps me sane here.
the first couple weeks i was crying.
now i'm crying only sometimes. but mostly laughing. probably at things that would offend most - but when you're faced with way too much reality every day, day after day - it's just how you cope.

there's a dog at the solares nuevos community that is the ugliest, most pained, starving ratty looking skinny dog that i have ever seen. all the animals around here are in pretty bad shape - but this one takes the cake. if death had a dog, this would be it. normally i would want to cry over starving animals. but the animals are only a fraction of the poverty here. if i start crying over the dogs i wont get anything done. so instead i've named the dog death, and we talk about episodes of the family guy, and bill and ted's bogus journey.

the two of us got a hitch from cieba the other day with the craziest woman. the car was falling apart. we had to drive 25km per hour b/c her clutch wasnt working. the windows were covered with patchy tinting. there was punta music playing the whole way. in the first 10 minutes of picking us up she stopped at a house, got out and came back to hand me a coat hanger with a parakeet on it through the window. "can you take this?" "um... sure. is he dangerous?" "oh yes, a little.. .hahahahahahaha". the birds name was ito. ito sat on the seat next to me and gave me the hairy eyeball as we drove away. the drive just got weirder after that - if you can imagine. we did get home alive... and killed ourselves laughing over every little detail for about a half an hour.
most bizarre hitch ever.

second puppet class was like the first - good, but like a tornado. the kids are enthusiastic but demanding. the second dance class didnt happen b/c the director of the program came and took the kids to a pool. this was disappointing as i really wanted to keep the classes consistant. but there is always next week.

disorganization and lack of communication still seems to be the number one frustrating thing here for the volunteers. everyone just has so much on their plate. i've been up a few nights with my mind racing - trying not to think too much, but at the same time hoping that i don't wake up one day and stop thinking.

it's been a long week.
i'm going out to la cieba tonight for some unwinding, then back at it on monday.

really quick update

i've more than doubled my work load in the past week, so i don't seem to have so much time for the internet. but i'll try to do a quick update:
last weeks puppet and dance classes went really well! i was very suprised. especially the dance class. the kids loved it. best part was a 'too cool for school' girl about 12 years old, watching with a bit of attitude, and within 5 minutes of the class, kicking off her shoes, sliding to the edge of her chair and jumping right into the class when i told her she could join in. she didn't even sign up.
so some success!
although i think i got too cocky b/c the kinder were rather terrible both friday and monday. sometimes you just have to zone out and go to your happy place when one child spits on the floor and the other drags his hands through it in an obvious attempt to be disgusting.

i've also started teaching at 'solares nuevos', a campesino community with a school house that was built by hhk. so i teach kinder at the hogar in the morning, then to solares nuevos, and i teach puppet and dance class on tues and thurs, and have started spanish classes for myself on monday and wednesday.
oh oh oh..... and.... i visited c.r.i.l.a. - a rehabilitation centre in la cieba and was completely enthralled by it. if i'm able to free up some time when other volunteers arrive, i'll try to do some rehabilitation volunteering possibly once a week... maybe put my pilates skills to use.

i'm starting to love it here. it's not getting any easier at all, and it's still very up and down - but i feel like i actually have some use. and i'm getting along well with my roommate - the two of us seem to be very like minded - so that helps... having someone to talk to about everything that goes on here without feeling like they don't want to hear it.

so that's my super fast update. and now i have to go eat then teach puppet class #2. last week we made the bodies, today we are paper mache-ing heads.
hope that works.

breathing helps.

i think i may finally be settling in.
i´ve gotten past being angry at the kids when they´re soooo bad. i´m actually rather calm.
now i´m trying to just go day by day, hour by hour. when i think of the big picture it´s just way too overwhelming.
and actually, considering the lives that these children have come from, they are suprisingly "normal" ... whatever that means.
we played with play dough for the last hour of kinder today. joel, the youngest, took much joy in squashing everthing i made... so i started to squash his stuff too. if you can´t beat em´, join em´.
i had a dream that i was in canada and was able to take santos, my sponsor child, out for a day. in the dream he could tap dance and speak english perfectly. i told him this this morning in class, and he and all the kids started to laugh as if this was extremely funny.

this week i´m going to start working with a second group outside of the orphanage. a campesino (peasant) community a little farther away from where i´m living. i´ll be teaching there after i teach kinder in the mornings at the hogar because all of the volunteers aside from one are leaving that project to go back home. i´m looking forward to filling more of my day.

i´m also starting puppets tomorrow. the kids will make monster puppets and we will hopefully present "where the wild things are" at the end of 5 weeks. or i may just end up with a pile of paper mache and a hernia.
we´ll see!!

a new volunteer moved into the volunteer house a few days ago. he has a connection with a rehab center in la cieba where he volunteered for a couple days. i´m going to go check that out sometime this week as well - who knows, my pilates experience might come in handy!

adios for now.

oh, and ps. i have lice.
gross.